I didn’t have time to come up with a proper article, so here’s a random little piece instead. The rules are simple: go onto Google, type in “do gay” and then a letter of the alphabet, then answer the first question that appears. Let’s go.

Do gay animals exist?
Despite the arguments from the conservative right, homosexuality does actually seem to be natural and has been documented in a wide variety of animal species such as apes, penguins and lions.

Do gay books sell?
I don’t think it’s a matter of people avoiding LGBT books as it is a lack of exposure in mainstream literature, much like what can be seen in Hollywood. Big publishers are still scared to take a risk on anything that isn’t tried and tested (just look at all the Hunger Game wannabes out there). This will hopefully change in time.

Do gay couples stay together longer
From what I was able to dig up, the jury’s still out on this one. Some studies say yes, others say no… In the end, I think it all boils down to a case of “some couples stay together whether straight or gay and some couples split whether straight or gay”.

Do gay dreams mean I’m gay?
Not necessarily. I’m not a psychologist but I can tell you from experience that dreams can be really weird and not necessarily mean anything (I once dreamed that I fist-fought Mick Jagger before running off with Maggie Gyllenhaal). The only time you should be worried is if these dreams are causing you distress – in that case, seek help. Otherwise you should be okay.

Do gay friends sleep with each other?
I’m sure there are some who do, just like there are some straight friends who sleep with each other.

Do gay guys like fat guys?
Again, I’m sure there are gay guys out there who like fat guys. Everyone is different and has different tastes.

Do gay horses exist?
See “do gay animals exist?”

Do gay jocks exist?
*sigh* Yes, they do. There is no single definition of what a gay (or bi, or pan, or asex, etc.) should and shouldn’t look like.

Do gay marriages last?
Again, every marriage is different no matter what the orientation of the participants. Some will last, some will fail. This won’t change just because the couple happens to be of the same gender.

Do gay people go to hell?
ha ha no

Do gay swans steal eggs?
Apparently, yes.

Do gay tops exist?
If by tops you mean shirts, then no. There’s no such thing as a piece of clothing designed exclusively for one sexuality. If you by tops you mean… something else, then yes to that too.

Do gay (sic) use condom?
While a condom is highly recommended, no one can force you to use one.

Do gay weddings have bridesmaids?
This comes down to choice. Some couples want to go the whole traditional route with all the trappings (including bridesmaids), others don’t even want to get married at all.

And, last but not least…

[What] do gay zombies eat?
I honestly don’t know how to answer that one.

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